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Home BLOGOSPHERE X Danger Room Mistakes of Love

Mistakes of Love

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Friday, 05 September 2008 15:32

We were walking down the street and had an accident, got thrown in the air, all our clothes flew off and we landed in bed. We didn't mean to have sex, it was an accident! The writer's girlfriend told that to him while we were discussing what to do about our pregnancy. We did not have the "young and stupid" excuse Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin have; we were very much adults. We let lust get the best of us one day and that's all it took. One day, one lay, one baby on the way! I have great sympathy for Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin and great respect for their choice of marriage. It was stupid for me to jump in bed with a woman who I was not married to. She and I have discussed our mutual mistake for years trying to figure out how to avoid making that mistake in the future. This article will give you some of the results of those discussions.

Continuation of Article...

My girl and I were in our thirties when we had our "accident" and she is the only woman I ever asked to marry me; she refused. In the passing years I realized she made the correct choice. At the time however I realized it was stupid of me to ask to marry a woman I did not know very well; but I made the right decision. Levi Johnston is more of a man than many far older. Bristol Palin and he can easily choose to change their personalities and mold themselves around each other. If they correct each other in love, and agree with each other to make the hard changes they will each have to make to get along, they will create a bond of love greater than many can ever know.

My girl screamed just riding as a passenger in my El Camino and that was years before I took-up drifting. This is only one of the many differences we have, things in my make-up I know I can not change about myself. Perhaps if I were in my twenties I could set aside my love of extreme sports for the love of a woman but by that time in my life it was and is, what I live for. Perhaps she would have grown to accept and appreciate that I am an Extreme Sportsman, if we had met in our twenties; but in her thirties she could not change either. We agreed to give our daughter up for adoption to a missionary in Africa. We became great friends. For ease of writing I shall speak in first person but know that my words here embody those of my ex-girlfriend also.

How do two Christians end up in such a wild & crazy "accident"? For Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin it was Love which blinded them to God's laws but for me it was loneliness that turned into lust. Its sad that liberals do not see that they hold the same values as Christians. I once saw an intelligence test that considered teen pregnancy to be a sign of lower mental functionality. Even liberals want to stop unwanted pregnancies; they are also aghast at grade school children having sex. When it really comes down to it Liberals see the wisdom of God's laws forbidding fornication and adultery.

I have refused sex when it was offered and not taken it when it would have been easy for me to seduce a woman. I endeavor to live by God's laws but liberals promote promiscuous lives in spite of the fact that they do not like the results of that choice. Several years ago in a high school in Florida 80% of the students had an STD. Liberals say wear condoms but they don't stop the spread of herpes which is what most of the kids had.  (or rather they still have Herpes. Something Liberals forget is the life sentence their "societal deals"condemn their victims to carry.  The longer you carry herpes the more years it steals from your life. ...added in proofreading)  

I am 46 years old and wish I were still a virgin. The only thing sex has done for me was to keep me involved in relationships I should have broken off months or years earlier. Having sex does MAKE you love someone and love is not something you can walk away from easily. It is why an abused woman will stay with and return to their abusers, sometimes seeing them in jail after being arrested for nearly killing her; she wants love and can not see his duplicitousness. Everyone wants to be loved, even if that person is hateful and sadistic. That desire is what makes some S&M relationships switch masters because deep down the sadist knows he will not find another woman who will put up with him.

The greatest experiment of the stability of the lives of those who have sex with anyone at any time was performed by the Hippies in communes during the 60's and 70's. Most of the "Free Love" communes ceased to exist by 1980 because the members paired up to live with each other or got married and both groups left the communes. Liberals love to talk about how great it is to switch partners anytime but even Hugh Hefner has been married. Mormons do not believe in polyandry and few cultures accept it as a normal relationship. Even in cultures where polygamy is acceptable many men have only one wife. What Liberals propose has been proven wrong by Liberals.  Yeshua's laws have been proven correct by those who broke them and experienced the pleasure and pain of sin.  Experiences of this generation proved Abstinence is the best policy and marriage the best option.

Like Prince says "Sex is natural, sex is fun, sex is best when its one on one" Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin are embarking on the most pleasurable path possible; even though they did not begin that walk as their parents did. Liberals castigate youthful newlyweds as "loosing out on life's adventure" but while their liberal friend will wake up after a party with a stranger, the Johnston's will be with each other. Like any couple they can hire a baby sitter and party all night on New Year's Eve. Marriage makes all aspects of life more enjoyable.

When their child is 10 they will only be 28 and it will share adventures with its parents; being old enough to remember the vacations they take. The Child will also be old enough for them to begin training on the proper way to find a mate, how to avoid the mistakes they made but more importantly why God's plan is not only the best but the most fun. Yeshua invented sex and Heaven and we want the best of both.  Christians are the ultimate hedonists.

My ex-girlfriend and I were desperate to find someone to love. That was the main reason for our sin but we discussed other factors, some not even related to ourselves, which lead men to break God's laws. The best way to avoid sin when loneness overwhelms you is to first recognize your mental state. That requires being introspective and taking an inventory of your mental landscape in addition to contemplating what is physically going on in your life and with those around you.  Frustration over life's problems can make one seek relief in sex. Most people are lonely to some extent and you need to gauge your level of loneliness and frustration and determine how much those feelings would factor in swaying you into an unhealthy relationship. Once recognized you can defend yourself against the desire to find comfort in ways that are not necessarily sin but would lead to sin.

The same is true with being in love as Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin are. Having a relationship creates a different but similar set of temptations, the biggest being that you want to show how much you love your beloved. The feeling of being alone is replaced with longing for your beloved and you need to check yourself so your emotions do not carry you away. With both loneliness and longing you need to keep those emotions leashed to the bottom of your bag, and close that bag!  God uses your time of being single to develop in you perseverance and backbone, some of the components that make one honorable and trustworthy.

The cure for loneliness is love but don't let your loneliness make you fall in love or cause you to feel its "just human" to let temptation relieve your emptiness. God's ways are far better and they are permanent solutions, not just a piece of tape over a gash. So how do you fall in love with the right person?

 Making a list of what you do want is easy, also make a list of dislikes, but with both lists you need to grade the imperativeness of each item. That advice came from a Latin American mother and was told to me from the pulpit of the church I attended. She told her son "When you see someone you like; go look at the list! Ask questions and decide if you can live with this person; because once you fall in love you won't care about the list anymore! Don't let yourself fall in love with the wrong person."

Skip looks, money, and status. If someone is physically disgusting to you then there is no fear of falling in love with that person. You will naturally look for someone who is attractive to you and don't need a list for that. God gave you eyes. Look into your heart and discover what would be a big turn-off. Vegans hate people and love animals, so if someone is a people person that would be a turn-off for a vegan.  I found that I need to put on my list "woman must be an Extreme Sportsman or appreciate Extreme Sportsmen" My ex-girlfriend hated extreme sports and I hate couch potatoes; neither could stand people with those personality traits. Knowing what you don't want is very important.

Consider yourself as well, what do you dislike about yourself? Make a plan to change it. Talk with your friend about the changes you plan to make, hopefully the person will help you, but it may be that this part of your personality endears you to the other. Talk and get to know each other before falling in love. That is why the phrase "Friends First" is ubiquitous.

So you have gotten to the point of holding hands walking down the street, what next? Consider your emotions and your body, in short recognize not just that you are horny around the one you love but how horny you are today, or right now. Tell your beloved "I can't hug you right now, I want you too much." With two vigilant Christians dating each other it reduces the chances that you will sin but even that level of communication didn't stop me and my girl from sinning. We created "The bathing suit rule". Don't put your hands where your girl's Bikini would go and keep your hands out of your man's swim trunks. You can still walk down the street with hands wrapped around each other's waist, just do not let your fingers go-a-walking!

That was a variation of something Grandma told me.  My Grandmother said "No heavy petting." My grandparents married in the 1920's She was not averse to kissing her boyfriend, as some fringe Christians propose today, but she didn't let it get out of hand. When you are in love you want to hold the one you love but Grandma was right, don't hold on for too long, you may find yourself in an "accident".



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