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Review: Rambo 2008

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Written by X   
Sunday, 29 June 2008 23:46

Short version: A great action adventure with meaning in your real world life!

10 out of 10.

Look at the muscles! The big gun! The body count, the man who can sneak up on a Ninja and jump grass huts in a single bound is back!

I AM SO SICK OF THAT B.S. The mainstream press has portrayed Rambo in this light to avoid the writer's original intent that showed through so well in the original. They avoided discussing police brutality {which was the real problem in First Blood} by focusing on Rambo and did the same thing this time around. This ain't the scumsucking, liberal mainstream, press! Those jackasses would never give Rambo the credit it deserves. In this movie Rambo brings justice where others allow themselves to be trod underfoot by unjust men. Rambo should win 2008's Oscar for best movie as it artfully explains the difficulty good men have understanding recalcitrantly evil men.

My desire was to write a short digest of my opinion of a movie because I hate having plot points told to me in a review; however one of the owners of ICE wants a more detailed review. The above paragraph was MY review; below is a bit longer version, albeit not much longer. If you are squeamish this is not only not your movie but not your review; this will get graphic.

How to tell about a movie without ruining it????HHUummm... We first see our hero in retirement working as a Cobra catcher. They are believed to have medicinal value in the Orient in addition to being quite tasty. Although I would take my chances with the local water before any homeopathic herb and snake bladder concoction could be shoved down my throat to cure an illness :b~ Rambo laments a small catch as do many snake hunters since governments do not allow enough people to raise them for food and that forces men into the wild where hunting has decimated not only Cobra but all snake populations throughout the Orient. Florida Rattlesnake has been mostly killed off, not eaten, but next time I want some I'll have to order cans of it from Texas snake farms; fresh is soo much better. Rambo is asked to take missionaries into Burma where Communists brought their form of world peace in 1962. Eventually Rambo agrees to take them into Burma then ends up saving them from certain death at the hands of the Burmese army.

The missionaries find out just how evil some men can be when one of their number is "fed to the pigs" I will explain this scene in detail because someone I was watching the movie with has no experience with farm animals and asked me "Do pigs eat people?!" The short answer is yes but what is portrayed in this scene that takes up less than 10 seconds of screen time will take far more to explain. The producers avoided showing the missionary dying but I will describe how the man died so when you see the scene you will understand it fully. A pig will eat anything in its pen and are infamous for biting the legs of farmers tending them. Large pigs are cared for from outside the stall, even if the pig is friendly enough to let you pet it. The pigs in the Burmese army camp were not cared for and would have been dangerous even if they were not regularly fed people as it is obvious these soldiers had been doing. They tied the missionary to a cross in the pig sty. When you slump down on a cross you suffocate so to take a breath of air you push up by standing on your feet. Standing up puts your feet in reach of the hungry pigs so the missionary would bend his legs at the knee to keep them from biting his feet. He could only do that until he passed out at best; although most likely he would loose the strength to hold up his legs before he became unconscious. What flickers across the scene is the aftermath: The slumped dead body of a man whose legs have been partially eaten by pigs. I appreciate the way Mr. Stallone did that scene and the rape scene in the movie in which the women are hidden in red smoke. This film has an important point and Mr. Stallone makes it with as little shock and gore as is possible also to his credit is that he is donating money from this movie to help the Burmese people. The sad thing is that those people who would find their worldview most improved by watching this movie would probably not see it because of its R rating.

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Last Updated on Thursday, 03 July 2008 16:16