Sometimes I feel attacked like I’m a victim or a hostage in a war within myself. Part of me wants evil and part of me wants what God desires. Then I remember, there is a huge war going on for my soul, for my purity, for my heart that is taking place within myself yet it is so much bigger than myself. Huh, explains why I feel that way.

That seems logical, but do you really ever think about that? There is a war fought within your body for your soul. I don’t mean to talk about spiritual warfare because I’ve found more often than not “each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their OWN evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death” (James 1:14-15 NIV).

I would so much rather blame my...

 “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” Martin Luther King Jr.

About 6 months into my marriage I woke up late one night to find my husband not in our bed. I got up and walked into our office, only to find him looking at pornography. He tried to hide it but wasn’t quick enough as he didn’t hear me coming. That was the start of our very long and difficult journey. For years after that pornography was always at the root of all our issues. However, the act of viewing pornography was not the biggest struggle. The true issue was always trust. At first I thought he could just stop, if he loved me. Well, it wasn’t that simple and he couldn’t stop so time after time I got hurt by his “problem.” I asked him frequently,...

Sex culture. It’s literally all around me, and I’ve just about had it. Just yesterday, I was at the grocery store shopping for ingredients for my mother’s birthday dinner (which will be scrumptious by the way), and when I got to the line, I had the displeasure of experiencing somewhat of a sexual assault. The culprit: Magazines.

While standing in line, my mind raced for a way out of my predicament. Half naked women, right there for my eyes to ogle. And why shouldn’t I? Everyone else in the line had something to ease the boredom of waiting in line by mentally undressing whichever celebrity they had always fantasized about. But there I was,  no X3 application following me, no one I knew would happen to be in the same line as me and notice my eyes scanning the covers, No accountability, and as it seemed, God wouldn’t mind me looking...

On any given weekend, in towns big and small, little girls and boys perform and strike a pose in pursuit of cash prizes, oversized sparkly crowns and big pageant titles.  These pint-sized beauty queens (and kings) spend hours prepping so they can sport fake tans, fake hair, fake teeth, false eyelashes and flashy costumes to be judged on their outfits, beauty and the personality they convey on stage. 

TLC’s hit show, 'Toddlers & Tiaras' follows the stage moms and dads, and their little divas as they get ready for these pageants.  As the show highlights, competition is intense and the price to compete is steep.  Fame-focused parents tend to push the limits to grab attention, titles and headlines, as is the case of mom Susanna Barrett, who has been capitalizing on her five-year-old daughter pageant success with appearances on the hit TLC show, a jewelry line, a Russian television...

When I was first asked to write an opinion piece for this months blog on the topic of sex and porn addiction based on an internet article I was excited. I thought “man this will be easy”. I soon found there has been a lot written about this subject and it was difficult to find one article. I then found an article from www.psychologytoday.com on the dangers of internet porn and internet gaming addictions (take a moment to read it, don’t let the scientific stuff burn your noodle). Both addictions affect the brain in the same way. They both eventually atrophy the brain, ruining a persons ability to properly make decisions, process pleasure, and properly function over time. The article also walks you through what happens with the drug cocaine and the brain.

I must admit as an avid gamer, and former porn user, this...

When I was little, computers were about the size of an average American home’s first floor, and video games existed primarily in arcades.  The world of fantasy, for me, was limited to nighttime stories, a few children’s cartoons and my own imagination.  The only place I would have encountered sexual content might have been through MTV, which was just getting its sea legs, or through discovering a misplaced magazine at a friend’s home. 

Fortunately, for most kids that grew up during my generation (or any previous generation), the fantasy world we encountered was, for the most part, developmentally appropriate.   Our children today, however, are exposed to an immersive world of computer and video games, interactive social realities and other computer-generated content that even adults struggle to identify as “fantasy”.

Many studies have suggested that young kids (up to about age seven) have an extremely difficult time discerning reality from fantasy, notwithstanding clarification...

I’m no advocate of arranged marriages, but one advantage I can see in someone else – parents, larger family or even a traditional matchmaker – making the decision of who will be your lifelong mate is that less heart than head goes into it, and libido stays completely out it. Second to squandering our sexual purity, I think the biggest mistake most Americans make in selecting a mate is failing to use their brains before they unleash their hearts. I’m also no advocate of formulas and questionnaires to avoid this mistake – let’s not go overboard. Obviously, a short list of qualities we need to “check off” before saying “I do” to even a lunch date includes: has Jesus as Lord, is law-abiding, sane and involved in some age or stage appropriate activity of industry. Beyond that, our past experiences have likely yielded a supplemental list of qualities that are...

High-tech multitaskers are all over the place.  Let’s face it, it’s only normal for most of us to be text messaging while watching television, while keeping up with work emails and jumping from website to website.  Most of us think we do a pretty good job of juggling it all, but several studies have shown that people who are regularly bombarded with several streams of electronic information do not pay attention, control their memory or switch from one job to another as well as those who prefer to complete one task at a time. 

Additionally, a study out of Stanford University last week found that tech-focused interactions, even through applications like FaceTime, is not a replacement for real human interaction, especially for children.  As reported by CNN, “tween girls who spend the most time multitasking between various digital devices, communicating online or watching video are the least likely...

I get a lot of emails...

A couple of weeks ago, I received one in particular from an old college peer of mine. The backdrop is that he's a Christian, an author (on relationships) and in a relationship with someone that he believes he will marry someday (it will be his second time). Here is an excerpt of what the email said:

"Take a little advice from me...at this point, make sure to continue to wait. It's so not worth it. On top of all of that, it was not good...not because I didn't somewhat enjoy it, but as you well know, sex is a full body experience. Your heart, mind and soul really needs to be into it to make it the way it's supposed to be. If your heart is convicted that it's wrong, your heart isn't into it. Therefore, your mind wants to go along but doesn't completely go...